A Guide for Action Oriented Regulation
By Debra Giunta
Every time I go on vacation, I spend the first two days feeling pretty miserable. Often, while surrounded by opportunities to relax, adventure into new experiences, and make new friends, I find myself feeling a bit uninterested, exhausted, and lackluster. While it’s long been a mystery to me why this is, I’ve come to expect it nonetheless - a predictable 48 hours of malaise at the start of every OOO week, long weekend, and international excursion. Over the years I’ve learned I’m not alone. Fellow ambitious friends have shared over dinner, in hushed tones, how they too struggle to enjoy vacations, and how they often find themselves languishing on long weekends, unsure of how to give themselves the deep relaxation and recuperation they’ve been longing for.
The answer to this long unanswered question came a few months ago, while struggling to stay engaged and positive in the first 24 hours of my belated honeymoon to Japan. In the days preceding my trip, I had engaged in a predictable pattern: I had packed my schedule with as much work as possible to prepare to log out of work and repeatedly told myself that if I hustle now, I’d be able to truly relax once I get on my trip. But of course, as usual, I found myself spending 48 hours struggling to switch gears, feeling anxious for no reason, and (worst of all) guilty for spending money on a trip I wasn’t enjoying.
Luckily, I’d recently engaged in some professional development that had introduced me to the Polyvagal Theory. Among other things, I learned that our bodies and brains are not designed to move seamlessly from stress to relaxation. In order to feel relaxed and experience enjoyment, our bodies need to be in a state of social engagement - settled, open, compassionate, mindful. When we’re in a state of stress, our bodies are typically in a state of fight, flight, or freeze, meaning our bodies think we’re fleeing from a threat. In other words, of course we can’t relax! Our bodies are pumping with enough stress hormones to keep us running as far as possible away from the sweet relaxation and bliss we’re dying to experience.
I, like you, have consumed tons of content on the importance of mindfulness and rest. I know that physical activity, time in nature, and deep breathing can bring us to a state of relaxation. But for me, these tactics tend to be unappealing to my very action-oriented brain. I need to already be relaxed in order to even begin to care about, for example, spending time in nature.
To help my fellow relaxation-challenged, and in honor of the end the school year, I’ve created a roundup of 5 easy, action-oriented activities designed to help bring you from a state of stress and anxiety to a state of social engagement; ready to relax, feel joy, have an adventure, and recoup from the day to day stressors of your life. Download the guide below!
Want to help your school balance day to day stressors? Learn more about our SY25 in-school professional development!